Saturday, April 19, 2014

What the ... trending BS?!?!?

I am not a Twitter subscriber. Which means I am not a Twit who Tweets. If I wanted to be a Twit I would subscribe.

Unfortunately Facebook forces me to see the Top 3 trending things, according to the Twits who work for Facebook. Which leads me to what has been on the Facebook Trending BS for at least 20+  hours ago. And it is STILL fucking there and still as wrong as it was when they FIRST posted it.

Ray Bourke is 53+ years old. He PLAYED for the Boston Bruins and the Colorado Avalanche. He has NEVER played for the Montreal Canadiens and was most definitely NOT playing last night. Nor did he score 2 goals to lead the Habs to the win. That was RENE Bourke. Something Facebook has STILL not fixed on their forced Trending list. Really Facebook. What the fuck?!?!?

At least the Red Wings info is spot on. One Direction ... who really gives a fuck.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

More Facebook Follies.

Ah Facebook. They always find a way to make you shake your head and say "What the fuck?!?!?" Or sometimes "Why the fuck?!?" If they aren't making changes that piss people off they find other ways to get our attention. Like the ads they have. Fuck knows they really don't care what kind of ad they have or how it is presented ... unless it gets pointed out in the media. Then they care all of a sudden and actually act.

I know I have pointed out the horrible English in some of their ads before but a recent ad on the right hand side of my screen had me chuckling.

Heh. Kiss her erogenous lips. I wonder which lips they are talking about.

Hmmm ... I think I will send them an email seeing if they want to hire a proof reader who actually knows how to use English. ;)

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Shit Morons Say ... about movies.

As a group of us were walking down an aisle Sarge said "I think I will go see Noah on the weekend."

MotorMouth chimed in "Yeah. Noah. I heard it was a good movie. I want to see it too."

I decided to be a smart ass and said "I don't want to see it. I read the book."

Everyone chuckled. Everyone expect Joan. She said "There is a book?!?!?"

Wide eyed I smirked and said "Yes. It is called the Bible."

She ALMOST saved herself but then stammered "I meant there is a book that it is based on?!?"

I shook my head and said "Yes. The Bible."

I walked away shaking my head. MotorMouth was taking the piss out of her for being stupid. It is a sad day for anyone when MotorMouth can legitimately take them down a peg for being an idiot.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Gord's Pork Pies Part 3

Wow. Talk about deluding yourself. Gord is NOT going with the April Fools defence. He is actually going to stick with the lie and continue feigning indignation when people call him on it.

He has no picture of him with the winning rim. Considering he goes no where without his cell phone and ipad that is strange. He is STILL telling different people he won it in different places. He is STILL telling people he upgraded it to the Corolla CE from the S. Which would actually be a down grade.

He IS claiming to have papers about his car in his locker. But he doesn't claim they prove he won it. He does like to dissemble.

He no longer reminds me of my brother Herman. He reminds me of my ex-fiance. She was pretty much a pathological liar. Why? The drama. She ALWAYS had something bad happening, whether real or made up. That way people would rally around her and tell her how good a person she was. Or defend her.

That pretty much seems to be what Gord is doing now. Those that care enough (or are bored enough) to call him on the lies get his indignation. He complains about it to others sometimes getting lip service, sometimes getting compassion, sometimes getting told to stop the lies. It is all about the attention and it doesn't matter if it is good or bad.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Shit Morons Say ... in dispatch.

I asked my boss if I could leave early today. We call that putting in for an EO, Early Out. He told me sure and then called our dispatcher to make sure it was on the schedule. Chuck was in dispatch.

Manager "You see where there is an EO? by Flint's name on the schedule at 2 and 2:30?"

Chuck "Yes."

Manager "Remove the ? from 2."

Chuck "What about 2:30?"

I had to bite my tongue not to start laughing. It would have been loud enough to hear over the phone. My manager just replied "Ummm. Yes." and hung up. We both started laughing.

Moe was in the hallway, poked his head in and said "What is so funny?"

We told him. He shook his head and said "What did he think? You would leave at 2 and come back at 2:30 to work a half hour?!?!?"


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Gord's Pork Pies Part 2

Saturday, Gord tells me he has something to show me when my shift is over. After his behaviour the previous Sunday I wasn't sure what to expect. A video I would find stupid? Ninja Biker Porn? No clue. He shows me a car in the parking lot and says "I won it from Roll Up The Rim!"

For those who don't know, every year Tim Horton's has the Roll Up The Rim to Win contest. The main prize being a car. This year there were several Toyota Corollas to go around.

Part of me winced knowing how Gord lies. Part of me said ignore the wincing and congratulate him. Part of me said does it really matter? So, I congratulated him on his good luck.

He went into great detail about how he found out he won it. A drive outside the city in his old car with his mother. They stopped at a Tim Horton's by the airport. Voila he won. They gave him a something to take to the Toyota dealer in town and get one. He traded his old car in to upgrade it to a Corolla CE.

He told a lot of people at work that he won it. A lot of people at work told him he was full of shit. Which is why he was in full indignant mode Sunday.

Because I had congratulated him I was one of the good guys. He waxed on about how could people think he lied about it. Yadda yadda yadda. (Because you had lied to them all in the past maybe?) Not really caring one way or the other I just said "What does it matter what they think or say if it is true?" And I left it at that not really wanting to get involved.

Why didn't I want to get involved? Because I was pretty sure that if I looked into it even a little it would all turn out to be a lie. And I really didn't care. It didn't hurt anyone and if it was a lie he was just fooling himself.

Today, Monday, his lie (yes, surprise surprise he was lying) started to unravel. He told me he won it in a small town called Enfield. He told one of my managers Truro. He told someone else Halifax. He told someone else Moncton. You get the idea right?

He was back in indignant mode. "What, do I have to show them the rim to make them believe me?" (Well, yeah. That would actually do it. Or even a picture of him with the winning rim. Getting whatever they gave him to get the car. Getting the car. Anything like that.)

I said "Well, they will find out when it is announced you won by Tim Horton's." He had an answer for that. He said he wouldn't let them release his name. Long story short he had lots of "reasons" why he couldn't prove it. BUT he DID have the car.

At this point he had hurt his case so much that he made it impossible to even ignore the fact he was lying. I figured I could prove he was lying in three easy steps.

On the way home I stopped by Tim Horton's for a coffee. I asked them about the person in Enfield who won a car last week. They said no one there won. What Halifax? Nope. Strike one.

After supper I went on the  computer and logged on to Tim Horton's website. They show a list of ALL winners of ALL prizes up to date. Surely if he won it last week and kept him name out of it there would be a "winner" from Enfield, or Halifax, of Truro, or Moncton? Yet there is NO winner from any of those areas. EVERY winner shown has their name and where listed on a map showing the area they won it in. Strike two.

Then I went to Toyota's website. According to Tim Horton's website the model people won was the Corolla S. Gord said he upgraded it to a CE. Unfortunately, for Gord, the CE is the BASIC model. The S is 2 levels up and about $4000 more expensive. So, he traded in his old car and downgraded? Strike three.

I expect a fourth strike when he is back at work Thursday. Odds are he will try to claim he was just prepping an april Fool's joke.

I can't even get angry with Gord for lying like this. It was so pathetically done that it makes me sad for him. It is just ... well ... pathetic.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Gord's Pork Pies Part 1

One of the guys at work, let's call him Gord, tells lies. A lot. Usually harmless or inconsequential. He reminds me of my brother Herman in a lot of ways.

Herman is older than me and likes to tell pork pies. He makes up some of the strangest lies at times. For reasons known only to him. Usually harmless ones. They both have a crude sense of humour, but my brother is a lot cruder.

A week and a half ago Gord told me something that I filed under BS. He said that a news report showed them (no idea who they are) finding the wing of an Air France jet in what is supposed to be the wreckage of the Malaysian Air jet.

Yeah, right. Nice try. No idea why.

Jump ahead a week. I am at work feeling like shit. Sinus and throat infection. Fighting through it and thankful I am off the next 3 days. I am not at work 10 minutes when Gord walks up and starts prattling on and irritating me.

First he started going on about how cough drops are addictive. Why that topic? I had just popped one for my sore throat. I shook my head and said "Really? No. They aren't"

He retorted with a "Yes they are."

"No Gord. They are no physically addictive."

"Well mentally."

"Yeah. No."

Then he struck a new tangent. "Studies show that the decongestant in cough drops affects your brain chemistry."

I sighed and relied "Gord, there is no decongestant in cough drops unless you get the ones with cough syrup in them. The ingredient that provides sinus relief is menthol."

He didn't like that and snarled. "Chocolate is addictive!"

"Jesus Gord, did you get all this info from the same place you heard about the Air France wing?" I laughed back.

He lost it. "You fucking asshole. You can go fuck yourself. I am fucking tired of people contradicting me and trying to make me look like a fucking liar. I am not a liar! I am going to find the article about the Air France wing so I can ram it down your fucking throat!"

What do you say to insanity like that? I leaned forward and in a soft voice said "And you have a nice day. Bye bye."

Then I walked over to the front entrance turning my back on him. You could hear him a couple of minutes later still slamming stuff around.

He avoided me for most of the day. Later he came up to me when I was in the office and in his mind I am sure he thinks he apologized.

He said. "I was wrong about the Air France wing. I went online and watched the news story again. They were talking about the Malaysian Air crash and the started showing stuff from other crashes. I put my head phones on just before they did that to tone out Marilyn. (Most people want to block her out because she is another head case who never shuts up.) She has been telling people for the last 3 weeks that all I do is lie. She is trying to get me fired."

So, it wasn't his fault he made an ass out of himself it is Marilyn's fault. I just shrugged and said "Whatever floats your boat." Which he took as "all is forgiven".

I could have called my boss over and got him in a lot of shit. I could have went to HR the next day I was in when they were and got him in a lot of shit. He may even have lost his job. But, he didn't do it in front of customers and I felt sorry for him. He doesn't have many (any?) friends at home or work. What he said didn't really matter to me, so I let it slide.

Which just led to more lying insanity this past weekend.