Saturday, July 28, 2012

Shit Morons Say ... on TV.

"Now I know what it feels like to be dead."

So, I am channel surfing and end up on Travel and Escape. A show called Ghost Adventures is on. It is a "reality" show in the vein of Ghost Hunters. A guy, Nick, is in the morgue in a "drawer" where bodies were stored when he makes that comment.

Really? You know what it feels like to be dead because you are locked in the dark in a confined space? If you are  living, breathing, and whining on a radio to your friends to get you out then you still don't know what it is like to be dead.

Or do you?

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Facebook Follies

As I mentioned in a previous post, the Facebook ads targeting me are almost as amusing as the KKKluckers over at Korean Sentry. They tend to be dating related. Whether a dating site. Dating aids. Shit like that.

It isn't just the ads per se that remind me of the KKKluckers. The HORRIBLE English also reminds me of idiots like Herr Consoleman. Just look at the screen snap I took of three ads.

The first one is for dating aids. A dating technique site that allow you to "Get Laid Any Woman!" Or is it? I followed the URL to find that the English in the ad is SO BAD that what you would think is some sort of dating technique site is really a fashion and beauty site. What a fucking let down. :)

Then there is D.I.Y Solar Panels. I don't know if the woman turned her tits into solar panels if not what the fuck is she doing in the ad? I went to the URL provided and it really is for a company to buy solar panels from in Australia.

Then there is Give Single Moms A Chance. The English isn't as bad as the first ad. In fact it isn't bad at all. It is just an ad that OFTEN pops up.

Oh Facebook, you really suck at times. :)

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Is it really so hard to listen to what someone says?

I got life insurance when I was in my mid-20's. My father died without any and it left Mom in a tight spot. Not an impossible one, but a tight one. I never wanted to make that mistake.

Our neighbour across the street, Gary, worked for Mutual. He set me up with a policy that was perfect for me. It cost about $25 a month and gave $50,000 in coverage. Mutual ended up merging with Sun. I believe it is now Sun-Life.  The policy left my thoughts, much as the monthly payment left my account.

Gary ended up leaving Sun-Life and someone else took over my account. He came to me around the 5th year of the policy and talked about upgrading it. At the time I thought I knew a hell of a lot more than I actually did and I let him talk me into changing the policy. It was supposed to still allow for upgrades every so many years (5  I believe) to increase coverage. It was supposed to cost the same amount Being full of my own youth I jumped at it.

Up comes the time for upgrading and my agent dutifully showed up for a visit. It was a new agent new, SS. I decided to take advantage of the option and increase my benefit to $100,000. It would mean increasing my payment to $40 which I had no problem with. My disillusionment began after getting my paperwork from them in the mail.

SS had failed to properly explain some things. Like the fact it wasn't a simple Life Insurance policy. My payment would have to increase over time. He also failed to tell me they would take $600 out of my built up money to pay administrative fees for the upgrade. God knows it was so expensive to get someone to type a few keys and put it through.

My unhappiness with the policy continued but then I moved to South Korea. The policy was the furthest thing from my mind. A few times I received email from SS about this or that. A few times I emailed him questions but never received answers.

When I was home in  2005 he came to see me. He was pushing another upgrade to the policy. I wasn't interested. He told me that I would have to start increasing my payment or it would start eating into my "savings". That didn't sounds anything like my original policy. What savings? Instead of just increasing my coverage my policy had been changed to a whole life kind of policy. Nice but NOT what I wanted. In the end I agreed to up my payment and decide what I wanted to do later. It was easier to push it off and go back to Korea. So I gave him the voided check and authorized increasing the payment to $60.

I went back to Korea expecting to pay more and worry about everything when I came home. SS evidently never processed the paperwork because the extra money wasn't taken out. Which meant i could go back to not giving a shit about it until I moved back home.

From about 2008 on I got letters from Sun-Life a couple of times a year saying I had to increase my payment or it would start eating into my money. Since I wasn't actually in Canada I didn't get the letters. Having given SS my mailing address in South Korea evidently meant nothing. Nor did email requests asking about this.

I met with SS about 3-4 months after returning to Canada in 2010. He was once again pushing an increase to my coverage. Barring that he was pushing me to buy a couple of $50,000 policies to "build up my coverage in case of death". At that time I wasn't working and still didn't know what would be happening. Would I return to South Korea or not? He also pushed for an increase in my payment but gave vague answers when pushed about it.

I haven't heard from SS since 2010. Today I heard from his office. I don't know if it was another "dealer" or a secretary. Nor do I care. She called on his behalf to see how I was doing and set up an appointment. I told her I was glad to hear from them because, now that I have some time off, I was planning on cancelling my coverage. That seemed to surprise her.

So, I told her some of the whys and wherefores. The main one being, when my original policy was started it was supposed to be around $20. I agreed to $40. I agreed to $60 but only $40 is being taken. Yet I keep getting these letters, which have never been fully addressed by SS, saying I now need to pay around $105.

She started saying "But I see here you are only paying $40 a month."

I reply "Yes, but for the last few years I have been getting letters saying I need to increase my payment to $105."

"You are only paying $40 a month now." She parroted.

"Yes, but I keep getting these letters saying I should be paying $105."

"Only $40 is coming out a month."

At that point the snark came out. "Are you listening to what I am saying? I KNOW $40 is coming out. It was supposed to be $60 as of 2005. I keep getting letters saying it should be $105."

She was silent for a minute and then made the mistake of repeating herself. "You are only paying ...."

I cut her off and said "I am off the next few days and will be in to cancel my policy. I can get a policy for $40 a month elsewhere that will give me $100,000 in coverage. Without the BS."

"Oh, you should talk to SS. He will be back in the office in a two weeks."

"Really? I can't cancel my policy without going through him?"

"No. But you could talk to him."

"So I can pay for another month of coverage that I don't want? Right. Bye." And I hung up.

I was civil until she kept repeating herself about the monthly payment. It is kind of funny that she could "see" that they were only taking $40 a month out of my bank account but couldn't "see" that they mailed me a few times a year asking for a higher payment. If she hadn't been so ... hmmm is obtuse the appropriate word? ... I would have at least seen if they would give the same policy I have been looking at elsewhere. But she kept being an idiot. So I will go elsewhere.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Shit Morons Say ... about wildlife.

"You need to get rid of the porcupines in the park!"

This gem was told to a Park Warden at Cole Harbour Heritage Park. The dog mook in question was furious because his two dogs ended up with their faces full of quills.

How did that happen you ask? Did some porcupine terrorists leap into the dogs faces while they were being walked? Of course not. The idiot owner let them run loose. They saw a porcupine and being dogs chased after it and then attacked it. If they had been on leash in this ON LEASH park it wouldn't have happened.

Fucking mooks.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

What the ... YouTardery?!?!?!?

Wow. I knew YouTube was full of morons. You knew it. Even YouTube knew it. Now YouTube has acknowledged it openly AND shown that they are a bunch of morons too!

Why the fuck would you have to give someone who has a YouTube account, and thus a channel, a pop up informing them they have a channel?!?!?!?


Shit Morons Say ... about using a leash.

"I'll put a leash on my dog when you leash the coyotes."

Another nugget of stupidity from a dog mook to a Park Warden. Oh, in case you were wondering, yes there are coyotes in the area, sometimes. They are not commonly encountered. In fact it is a pretty rare thing. When seen they usually run away as fast as they can. 

Saturday, July 14, 2012

What the ... limitation?!?!?

Even after being home for 2+ years and shedding the weight I shed I am still marvelled by the limitations I set on myself. I will look at a distance and say "I can't do it." Yet I can.

I will look at a set of obstacles and say hell no. Like mowing the lawns, weeding, and mulching, and say hell no. Yet I could and did do it. It took less time than I expected. I was not as sore as I expected. The ice cold beer tasted better than I expected.

It is strange but I find that the biggest limitation on me at times is ... me.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Shit Morons Say ... about leash laws.

"I was walking my dog here without a leash since before this was a park so the law doesn't apply to me."

The above was told to a Park Warden by some Dog Mook who was approached for not having their dog on a leash. The fucktard actually believes there is a grandfather clause for letting your dog loose. Some people are just too stupid to have pets ... or even children.

When I arrived at the park this morning 3 wardens were getting ready to do their rounds. We had a nice chat. I feel sorry for them because they don't have the power to ticket but have to put on a happy face and be polite to the idiots they deal with. Idiots who usually got from 0-profane when the leash law is mentioned.

One of them said he would love to be around when Department of Natural Resources officers come to the park. A dog mook who had the leash law and enforcement explained to him dared them to send a DNR officer. He would fuck up anyone who tried to give him a ticket.

The difference between a Park Warden and a DNR officer is pretty strong. The Park Warden wears a hunter orange vest and Warden's uniform. A DNR officer wears a uniform, bullet proof vest, and carries a sidearm. The officer has the power to handcuff and arrest someone.

Please oh please mouthy dog mook try and fuck with them. I want to be there when a DNR officer confronts one of these mooks. Hell, I want to be there when someone gets lippy with a Warden. The Warden can't say anything but I can ... and unlike them I can videotape the morons. :)

I am thinking about getting a GoPro video camera and harness so I can record my walks and the mooks. Then I can put them up here in all their glory, and stupidity.

Monday, July 9, 2012

What the ... Tardy Tard?!?!?

I am usually anywhere from 30-60 minutes early for work. I like being early because it gives me the time to relax, drink my coffee, read the paper, and find out what is going on at work.

I have always hated being late. You will hear me say that I would rather be 30 minutes early instead of 30 seconds late. That was part of who I am before I went to Korea. Most jobs I worked at in Korea added to that because they wanted you there an hour before you started teaching. Which was fine by me.

When it came to Korea that early arrival was great. It allowed me to make sure I was ready for my classes. I had the time to make sure I was up to date on my email. I could even read the news. Most jobs wanted us there early any way. Damn, I am digressing again.

What has this got to do with work now? A lot. Really.

One of my co-workers is habitually late. (One of several who have that problem.) He will show up a couple of minutes before start time (or later) and not get to where he is supposed to be until after he should have been there. That pisses me off.  Just because you clocked in on time doesn't mean you are on time. On time means you are where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be. Not just clocked in.

Last Monday this guy, what a guy this guy, had the balls to say something to me that PISSED me off. He is a nice guy. Funny and friendly but usually tardy. He asked me what time I got in (40 minutes before my shift start) and when I told him he had the temerity to say "You make us look bad."

He was half joking. maybe a quarter joking. It PISSED me off though. The day before his lateness left me fucked over. And he has the balls to say that I make him, and others look bad?

I looked him in the eye, rudely pointed a finger at him, and snarled "You make yourself look bad. You don't need my help." He caught on to my pissed offedness (Pissed offedness is now a real word/phrase.) and started back pedalling and making excuses as fast as Anonyjohn. He was joking. It was meant in jest. Too fucking bad. I was serious.

I am so tired of working with people who are late all the time. You wonder why you don't get ahead at work? That is why. You wonder why people know they can't count on you? That is why.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Out of the mouth of a moron.

I was walking the dog in the park as usual this morning when a dog came charging up the trail. Yeah, no surprise, another dog mook in the park.

My dog was ready to GO, large dog charging at him, so I stayed between the two. The moron's dog wouldn't listen to his demands to go to him. I told him to leash his dog and get him away. As he did that I had to chastise him.

"You realize this IS a fucking on leash park don't you?" I snarled.

"Ummm. Yeah. It is."

"Then keep your dog on a leash."

"He doesn't need to. He listens."

At that point I lost it. "You fucking stupid mook. You stood back there calling him and your dog NEVER listened. You had to come up here and leash him and force him away. And you have the fucking balls to say he listens? Mooks like you should never be allowed to have a dog."

He had that deer in the headlight look them sputtered. "What did you call me?"

"A mook. A fucking stupid mook." (Yeah, calling someone a stupid mook is redundant.)

He got an angry look and said "You are racist!"

At this point I had to start laughing at him. He reminded me of Anonyjohn. I laughed some more and said "A mook is a selfish, stupid, and rude person. What the fuck do you think I said?"

"I thought you said monkey."

"Yeah. M-o-o-k sounds like M-o-n-k-e-y. Fuck you are a moron. And you are white. If I wanted to make a racial slur about you it wouldn't be to call you a monkey."

At that point he decided leaving was the thing to do.

What a fucking mook.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

What the ... Facebook ad?

Ah Facebook, you provide almost as much entertainment as the KKKluckers at Korean Sentry. I don't usually waste my time looking at the right side of my main Facebook page. It is where they stuff ads.

For some reason I glanced at it today and had to chuckle. Out of 7 ads 5 of them were for some kind of dating site. The one I found the most insulting yet funny was one for

Evidently, Facebook considers someone in their mid 40's to be a senior. Add to that the fact you are single and BINGO, perfect target for a site to help oldsters hook up with youngsters or other oldsters. That is what happens when Facebook trolls your information to use for targeted advertising.

I remember a friend complaining about being banned from sending friend requests a year or so ago. The message Facebook sent him contained something about Facebook not being used as a site for finding dates. Of course that doesn't apply to Facebook forcing ads for dating sites on you.

Thanks Facebook. Keep up the bad work. :)

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Facebook on my smart phone.

While I owned a cell phone when I lived in South Korea I had never owned one in Canada. That is until last fall. I got one, an LG Phoenix, because I wanted work to be able to get a hold of me whenever they need me for extra shifts. What can I say, I like all the money I can get. :)

A month or so after getting it I made the mistake of hooking up Facebook on it. Why was that a mistake you ask? There are a couple of reasons.

First, the spam. For some insane reason whenever someone likes, comments on, posts on, links to, or does anything else that involves my Facebook account I get TWO, not one but TWO, messages sent to my smart phone. They don't clear until you load each of them separately. It is a huge pain in the ass. I don't use Facebook all that much to begin with and shit like this makes me want to use it even less.

Secondly, when someone would send a request, like a friend request, and I view it on my phone it would not show up the next time I logged on Facebook. Which makes me shake my head in amazement because the stuff that appeared in my first reason would STILL be visible the next time I went on Facebook. Considering how hectic life can get I would see a request on the smart phone and decide to look at it more in depth when I got home. when I got home it would slip my mind and logging onto Facebook there would be no highlighted request because I had viewed it on my phone.

All in all it wasn't worth having Facebook on my phone. So I removed it today and it will not be missed. Of course, removing it from your phone isn't enough. You must go into Facebook's settings and remove it from there too.

I do expect some form of stupidity to continue due to Android. I don't have twitter nor do I want it. Yet every time there is an update android tries forcing me to install twitter. I expect this stupidity to happen with Facebook now.

And it already started. Since initially writing this around noon on July 3rd I shut my phone off. When I turned it on Android was once again urging me to update twitter and facebook. Since they aren't installed it wouldn't REALLY be updating them now would it?

What the ... weather statement?!?!?!?

As much as I made fun of Korean's for the "Cho ah's!!!" (It's cold. I'm cold. COLD!) comments they make people here are just as stupid when it comes to the heat of summer.

You are outside. Dripping sweat. Obviously roasting alive even though you are wearing as little clothing as possible without being arrested for indecent exposure. Some mook will make pleasantries and just have to slip in "It's hot out." No shit Sherlock. It's summer.

Mind you when it came to the "cho ah's" 9 times out of 10 the person whining about the cold in Korea wasn't actually dressed for it. Often it would come from the mouth of some woman wearing a winter jacket, winter boots, a mini skirt, and no leggings. Of course you are cold. Dress properly!

Mook of the Week

My first day off this week and it starts badly thanks to Mooks with Dogs.

I didn't even make it into the parking lot at Cole Harbour Provincial Park before Mooks started fucking things up. The asshole driving the black Ford F150, Nova Scotia plate number EWR 843, pictured below is a regular to the park.

He always brings a black Lab and a Golden Retriever. For some reason known only to him he never leashes them. I had to stop entering the parking lot because this fucktard let them run loose and they were all over the parking lot.  Finally he gets them "under control" and heads off, and they run at a woman walking her dog, on leash, before heading up the trail.

I have had words with this idiot before. He is generally smarmy and will tell you that he always has his dogs under control.

Which is kind of funny considering the above picture. By the time I got out of the car and had the cell phone camera on, asshole was halfway to the hill. The reddish dot is him. The blue dot is the black Lab, the white dot, which is behind trees and can't be seen, is the Golden Retriever taking off. Yeah, they are always under control. Asshole.

That was the start of the day, and the walk. After 20 minutes on another trail I gave up and returned to the car and home. I had run into too many people with dogs off leash. One guy was lucky he had kids with him or I wouldn't have filtered my language.

Idiots like these should not be allowed to own dogs.