Monday, December 29, 2014

What the ... Judd?!?!?

Who the fuck is Judd Apatow and why should I care about what he has to say? Ok, Facebook thinks I would be ingterested vis-a-vis trending to know wh he is.

According to trending Judd Apatow is upset that Canadian venues haven't cancelled Bill Cosby and is severely pissed off. Yet I still find it hard to care.

Then I found out, thanks to Wikipedia, that "he is an American film producer, director, comedian, actor, and screenwriter. He is best known for his work in comedy films ..." Yet I still don't give a shit what he thinks about just abut anything.Ooops, sorry. I actually don't care what he thinks about anything. Fucking "celebs" and the media that panders to them, who think that what is going through their minds, or moths, really matters. As a wise man once said "Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one." And my add on " ... but some stink more than others."

You are welcome to your opinion Mr. Apatow but as FOX news is so quick to point out, unless it benefits a "liberal", people are innocent until proven guilty. Unless we are in the USSR or "Emperor" Obama's land according to the 'right'.

Meh. Fuck it.

No More Motormouth.

Motormouth. Damn he was one annoying fucktard. He exemplified a lot of what makes a fucktard. At times he made work unbearable. I actually had to go to HR about him. However, he has done something I never expected. Something you rarely see in people. He has changed. For the better.

After what happened with HR you could see him trying to change his ways. In the last year and a half or so he has really grown up. I actually enjoy working with him now. Something I never thought I would say.

Most people don't change, usually because they don't really try. Motormouth, and this is the last time I will refer to him as that, changed. For that I give him a LOT of credit.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Jean Beliveau

I wish I could say I remember watching Jean Beliveau play hockey. I definitely watched hockey then and cheered for Montreal. However, I was 6 when he retired and can't truthfully say I remember him as a player. :( I wish I could.

Jean Beliveau died last week. He is one of the VERY VERY few people I have heard others talk about and they had NOTHING bad to say about him. I remember him more as a retired representative of the Montreal Canadiens. He was pure class. According to those who knew him when he played the same was true. Players from all over the NHL were told that if they wanted to be the best for their team they would do well to emulate Beliveau.

I watched the opening ceremony of the game tonight. It started about 15 minutes ago. Montreal got it right. Their tribute was spot on. Having the chair he always sat in at the Bell Centre ...  I almost typed The Forum (and it will always be The Forum to me) ... draped with his number and The Habs colours was perfect. I cried. His wife was there, along with other family members. The crowd honoured him, and thereby them. I cried. The farewell was almost as classy as Jean Beliveau was and always will be.

I am not a big fan of televised funerals. I wish I could be in Montreal tomorrow to express my grief at the loss of Jean Beliveau. My gratitude at all he gave to his sport and his country. His family is in my thoughts, and he will ALWAYS be there.

Thank you for all you did on the ice and off. You will always be remembered.

What the ... Christmas envy?!?!?

It turns out that Halifax City Councillors have $93,000 in discretionary funds to use every year. Funds that of course come from our tax dollars. It is supposed to be used for capital developments and infrastructure developments. Things like parks, playgrounds, maintenance of common areas.

One Councillor, Brad Johns of Sackville, decided to use $25,000 of his to get an animatronic talking Christmas tree for Sackville. He compares it to Woody the Talking Christmas tree. The difference being Private funds were used to purchase and maintain Woody at Mic Mac Mall. Johns used public money.

At a time when there are a lot of people who could use monetary help Johns wastes public money on this. There was just a story in the news about an elderly woman in Metro who couldn't afford her prescriptions. More people are using food banks. But hey, lets waste $25 - fucking - thousand dollars on a damn animatronic tree.Why?

Well, according to Johns it is only right. Halifax has the parade of lights. Spryfield has a Santa Claus parade. Various areas have tree lighting events. So of course spending $25,000 on a Christmas tree is a great idea.

I have heard of penis envy but this is a first for Christmas envy.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

What the ... guilt trips?!?!?

I received some mail today. The kind of mail that makes me shake my head and wonder just how fucking stupid some charities are. Or rather just how much they really need money.

This time it was unsolicited email from Habit For Humanity. How they got my name and address I don't know. nor do I really care. It contained Christmas cards and seals that they expect me to send them money for. It gets circular filed. What a fucking waste of money, on their part.

What pisses me off the most is that they are trying to play on the sympathy of people. They expect that people will feel driven by guilt to send them money. Not by a desire to help but guilt.

I still remember the asshole who once called me representing the Children's Help Line. At the time I was between jobs and didn't have any money to spare or I probably would have donated to them. At the time I thought it was a worthy cause. Then comes the call. I explain my situation and the guy has the nerve to tell me that surely I could borrow $20 from someone. When I asked to talk to his supervisor he hung up.

I contacted the Children's Help Line to complain. They just gave a spiel about outsourcing phone solicitation to a telemarketing company. They weren't interested in sending my complaint on to the telemarketer.

Their excuse doesn't mean shit. They hired someone to represent them. When they call and act like the fucktard I dealt with they are acting in the name of the company. Much like the Poppy volunteer I dealt with in 2010. Thanks to the telemarketer that called me, and the lack of interest in following up on my complaint, I will NEVER donate to the Children's Help Line.

How much money, donated money, do these charities waste on the mail outs? Let alone on the money spent on telemarketers? Which is why I don't donate to those charities.

I have charities that I support regularly. I have given them permission to contact me. I donate to them because I choose to out of a desire to help. Which is why I don't appreciate the unsolicited contact. The attempt to guilt me into donating money. The waste of money.


Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Social Experiment

I blogged this on my other site because it felt more relevant there. But it belongs here and everywhere.

The "experiment" these guys really proved why I love Canada. We don't just talk the talk, we walk it. I hope I would have the balls to step in and protect someone being picked on like the guy in this "experiment". Hell, I even hope I would punch the guy in the mouth who was being a racist asshole.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Facebook Trending Stupidity Continues

And now the continue saga of Facebook Follies. Just when you think Facebook can't make itself look stupider they find a way. Look at the Trending headline about Rob Ford from this morning.

What is wrong with that trending headline you ask? Well, Rob Ford didn't run against his bother. So he didn't defeat his brother. Rob Ford ran for his old City Council spot and won it. Doug Ford ran for Mayor of Toronto against John Tory, Olivia Chow, and some others who just aren't that memorable. He lost.

You would be safe saying John Tory defeats Doug Ford.

You would be a fucking moron to say Rob Ford defeats Doug Ford.

Facebook. Fucking morons. Damn if that doesn't sound right to me.

Monday, October 27, 2014

The Golden Age

While rereading "The Game" by Ken Dryden I came upon a quote I always liked and is so true.

"Nothing is as good as it used to be, and it never was. The "Golden Age" of sports," the "Golden Age"of anything, is the age of everyone's childhood."

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Scotia Bank Telemarketers

The latest telemarketer bullshit has come to me courtesy of Scotia Bank. For the last 4 weeks I have been getting a call or more a week from them coming from  their telemarketers at 1-888-764-1733.

Here is a copy of the email I sent Scotia Bank.

My name is Flint.
I do not have a bank account with your company. I do not have a credit card with your company. I do have a car loan through you, and am starting to regret it.
I work grave yard shifts and lately have been getting woken up at least once a week by calls from 1-888-764-1733. They claim to be calling on behalf of Scotia Bank to tell me I am pre-approved for a credit card. Up until now I have been polite with the telemarketers and told them a) I am not interested and b) take me off your list (stop calling me). But I still get calls. 
If you want to waste money sending me mail I will throw in the garbage that is up to you. I do NOT want to be called. One of the main reasons I left my last bank is this sort of BS. At least they had the excuse that I actually had a bank account with them. All I have with you is a car loan, and thanks to this latest BS I will have to see if I can switch it to my usual bank somehow. They don’t harass me with these kind of stupid calls.
So, take me off of whatever call lists Scotia Bank has. I am sick of the harassment and about ready to blog about it.
My phone number is 1-***-***-****.  Take it out of your call database.

I hope you can appreciate the effort it took not to be profane in this email. 

As you can tell by the above it is extra annoying because of my work and sleep hours. I have an elderly parent so I do not want to shut my phone off. Hell, I shouldn't HAVE to shut my phone off not to be annoyed by assholes like this. The first time they call, fine, it happens. After that, after they have been told I am not interested take me off the list, they are just annoying fucktards and get treated as such.

What I found kind of ironic is that while Scotia Bank will farm out my name and number to their telemarketers I could not call their 1-800 number and speak to a person and complain because I don't have a bank account number or credit card number to put in. 


Luckily, I know how to block calls on my phone and they are going on the block list.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

What the ... head case?!?!?

According to some media reports Paul Bernardo may be getting married.

Seriously? I know I shouldn't be surprised, you hear about these whack jobs that are attracted to murders and their ilk. But I am surprised.

It makes you wonder what the mental problems are this 30 year old University graduate has. She couldn't find someone she is attracted to outside of the a convicted murderer and rapist?

Oh wait, she believes he is innocent. Like I said, whack job. It takes all kinds of crazy to make the world go around and this bitch is definitely on the crazy train.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

On-Star Fucktardery

When I bought my car about a year and a half ago it came with ON-star. I don't have many regrets inj life but activating On-Star is one of them.

While the service is a great idea it just wasn't for me. I have my own phone that hooks up via bluetooth so I didn't need their phone service. I can find my own way around so I didn't need any help in that respect. It just didn't make sense to pay $45.89 a month for a service I didn't use or need. So in April of this year I cancelled the service. That is when the fucktardery began.

In early April of 2013 I called On Star's 1-888 number. I talked with someone going by the name Hazel. She went through their usual spiel when someone is cancelling. I stuck to my guns and cancelled. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of it.

The next month I found another charge for On-Star on my credit card. I immediately called them to find out what the hell was going on. This time it was someone going by the name Brenda. according to her I did call in April to cancel their service. Hazel made note of it but never actually cancelled it. Everything was logged but nothing done. Everything was going to be cancelled at that point and I would be reimbursed.

Around June 20th I got a letter from On-Star telling me I no longer had On-Star and pitching for me to reactivate.

This brings us to Today, July 1st. I check my credit card bill and see ... a charge for On-Star. I call them up and get someone by the name of Antoine. After hearing the problem he transfers me to Bernadette in Billing. I get to repeat everything to her and then get stuck on hold for 22 minutes. Now, I worked this kind of job before. You NEVER leave a customer on hold more than a couple of minutes before checking back with them and letting them know you are still looking into things. I called them up on my cell phone after they had me on hold for 15 minutes. Informed the person what was going on and they hung up on me.

Bernadette finally got back to me, after 22 minutes on hold. She let me know that a dispute was set up and gave me a confirmation number. It will be 7-10 days before I hear anything back. I made sure she put down that I expect to be reimbursed for the last 3 months.

What do I really expect? A charge to appear on my credit card on July 16th for On-Star. Luckily, I have already advised my bank of the BS I have been going through and if a charge appears they will go after On-Star for me. I was going to deny On-Star access but IF they actually reimburse me the money I am owed they will credit it to my card.

What a bunch of fucktardery.

I would NEVER advise anyone to use On-Star. If they are this incompetent when it comes to cancellation god help you if you really need help.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Fun With Telemarketers 2

I had a call from 1-514-484-7140 a few minutes ago. Of course, it was a telemarketer. The old "Your credit card is ok but we can help you with it." ploy. Hit 1 to talk to an operator or 2 to not get called again.

As in the past, I started off with 2 just to prove it doesn't work. It didn't. According to the computer it was invalid. Of course it accepted 1 and sent me to an operator. As before the operator had an east-Indian accent.

He started his spiel from the minute the line opened.  "Hello. I can help you lower the rates on your credit card. We ..."

I cut him off with my old spiel "What bank are you with?"

"Oh sir, we are not a bank. We are a company that can help you lower your interest rate by at least 10%."

"Wow." I replied, deciding to take a different route. "That is fantastic."

"Yes it is sir. We can do this ..."

I cut him off again. "Can you lower it by more than that?"

"Oh it is possible sir. I would have to get your credit card information and then we can see how much it can be lowered."


"Yes sir. Can I have your information."

"Amazing that you claim to know my credit card information and can lower my rate when I don't own a credit card."

He hung up. :)


Saturday, May 31, 2014

It's official ... I'm a twit.

Ok, it is official. I am now a twit or is it a twat? I joined twitter to enter a contest to win P.K. Subban's game winning puck from a game versus Boston in the playoffs this year.

Since joining it and spamming that account with tweets (3) to better my chance to win I never logged back on. Until this morning. I have to say Twitter is pretty much everything I expected it to be. And taht isn't a good thing. ;)

As soon as I opened ythe program the fucktardery started. Ads and useless retweets. HockeyNightInCanada if I had wanted to see an ad for GreztkyHockeySchool I would have gone looking for it. I don't need to have it retweeted so I can see it.

CBC seems to retweet a lot of idiotic things. Dallas Eakins tweeted that he "Absolutely loves Mr. Cole" and CBC felt that piece of important news had to be retweeted. The world as we know it would end if CBC didn't let you know about Dallas Eakins love for Mr. Cole (A CBC hockey commentator.) Fucktards.

Then you have retweeting stuff from WaltDisneyStudiosCAN. I don't know what going to see Malificent has to do with football nor do I know why FIFA needs to retweet asking if I am going to see it.  As with the other sports related accounts I followed I did it to hear ABOUT THE SPORTS and not this idiocy of retweeted bullshit. Fucktards.

Then there are the ads that Twitter decides I need to see like Windows Canada. Or an add, not a retweet, for GretzkyHockeySchool.

You know, I have never claimed to have much of a life but I have enough of one that I don't need shit like Twitter to get through a day. To get reaffirmation that what I posted and said is good. To try and get things retweeted as much as I can ... will retweet yours if you retweet mine.

It reminds me of some of the stupider aspects of YouTube. People you don't know, and odds are would never care to know, messaging you saying nothing but "sub4sub". That is, if you subscribe to them they will subscribe to you. Even if you never look at their site again, or don't believe in anything they expound, sub4sub man. That way they can have as many subscribers as possible and somehow it will make them look important to the world. Kind of like the people on Facebook who collect friends so they can point to a list of hundreds or thousands of friends. Most of which they don't really know.

Pathetic and epic fucktardery.

I will pare the twitter list down to just a few to follow and give it a second chance. Then I will delete it next time I log on. Oops, sorry, seeing into the future. What can I say ... I am pretty sure that won't improve Twitter  for me.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Day of the Fucktards.

Holy shit. I have run in to more fucktards today, some almost literally, than I do most weeks.

Leaving the common daily fucktards aside there are 2 that stand out for their high degree of fucktardery.

The first one I encountered on my way back from the morning walk in the park with my dog. As I pulled onto my street and started to round a corner I ran into difficulty. The first difficulty being because someone had parked their van on the corner so I couldn't see much ahead and had to slowly/blindly go around. The second reason being that some stupid fucking jogger was ON THE ROAD coming around said van. This stupid twat was jogging down the road on the same fucking side as an EMPTY SIDEWALK. God forbid the fucktard actually be using the sidewalk.

Luckliy for her I was going slow because of the circumstances. If I had been doing the speed limit I would have nailed her and not in that fun way. My windows were down so I voiced my displeasure with her. "You fucking moron. Why the fuck aren't you using the sidewalk? I could have fucking killed you!" The fucktard kept her head down and kept jogging towards the car behind me who laid on their horn and scared the shit out of her. :)

The second one I ran into, once again almost literally, after the second walk in the park. I had stopped at the mall on the way home. On my way out the car in front of my stopped for the stop sign (no that isn't why they are a fucktard) realized they should have gone right instead of left to the stop and started backing up. They never checked their mirror and just started backing up right at me.

I laid on the horn and the driver gave me a really dirty look and (thankfully) hit their brakes. I shouted out my window "What the fuck do you think you doing? Try checking before backing up!" They did a sort of U-turn through a 4-way stop so they could back track to the liqour store.


Thursday, May 8, 2014

Shit Morons Say ... when mistaken.

"Isn't this where I get my tires changed?"

I was waiting to get my hair cut yesterday when a woman carrying a kid walked into the barber shop. she looked around and said "Isn't this where I get my tires changed?"

The barber never missed a beat. He shook his head and said "No. They are around the other side of the building. This is a barber shop."

"Oh. I guess I should go." was her reply.

The barber chuckled and said "If you need a haircut you can stay."

She left. We started laughing.

Another customer who was waiting said "That happen a lot?"

The barber said "A few times a week. You would never know there is a sign over the entrance saying this is a barber shop. Plus one on the door. Plus the sign for the tire shop telling you where it's entrance is."

The guy in the chair said "Ever mess with their heads?"

The barber said "I don't really have to. Hell, once a guy came in, saw me cutting hair and said 'Here are my  keys.' as if I was standing behind  desk and not cutting hair."

Damn. People can be stupid.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

How stupid do you think I am?

One of my sisters, lets call her DB, has been on my shit list for a while. Actually, she isn't on that list or any other. I just don't bother with her. Don't usually think about her.

Our Mother had major surgery a couple of years ago. She was in the hospital about 5 days then home to recover. It was about a month and a half before this sister came to visit her. A week before Christmas. To get and drop off presents. In the years since then I can count the number of times she has visited Mom on ONE hand. Visited, not actually done anything for.

Why, you might ask? She has excuses. Too busy week days. Too busy weekends. The week days, fine, she babysits a load of kids. But she does manage to take a week off several times a year to go shopping in the states. Just has no time to visit her Mother.

A few days ago I got a Facebook message from her. She told me that she had messaged Mom. She had to have her dog put down. It had been suffering from a disease for years and had developed kidney/liver problems as well. For that she got my condolences. Then she went on to say that NOW that she doesn't have to stay home with the dog all the time she will be able to visit Mom.

Wow. She blamed her absence in Mom's life on the dog. Claiming she couldn't leave the dog alone. I don't know how fucking stupid she thinks I am but I do know that she would go to the US shopping several times a year. Usually for a week. She Facebooks about it every time she goes.

But she couldn't leave the dog alone for a few hours to visit her Mother. She only lives about a 15-20 minute drive away. US, no problem for a week. Mom for an hour or so, too hard. Fuck me.

The DB stands for Douchebag.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Shit Morons Say ... when pushing a product.

"I am not trying to force you into anything."

Mom was getting home from the food bank as I was getting the dog ready for a walk. I noticed a woman two houses away going door to door. Yeah, I knew it wasn't a JoHo or some other Christer. I was pretty sure it was someone selling something. Mom could deal with them. If I did it wouldn't be pleasant.

The woman who came to the door was peddling service with Bell-Aliant. She had a list of non-Bell-Aliant customers on my street and that was her target audience.

The woman was nice enough. BUT. She was peddling something. Over the years I have developed a keen lack of tolerance for people peddling something who don't listen when I say no. I will say no once, even twice. The third time I have to say no I am not usually pleasant. But I am skipping ahead.

The woman was pleasant enough with Mom. I was inside, where I couldn't be seen, getting the dog ready. Mom was at the door way. Mom asked her what she wanted. The woman said she was with Bell-Aliant. Mom immediately said "I am not interested in changing my service." That was a good negative answer.

A peddlar should have picked up on it and either called it a day and move don or, as most are trained, try to get convince the person to change. The peddlar went for the latter, as most would. (Did I mention I used to peddle a product and learned at least some of the signs that told you when to move on? Most peddlars don't move on until at least the second sign is seen. Aggressive ones who love the hard sell will continue after the second sign, or third, or ... ok I am jumping ahead again.)

The woman started shilling her product again. Mom quickly said "I am happy with Eastlink's service and am not interested in changing." The woman started talking comparison.

At that point I said "Eastlink is a good service."

The woman replied "Oh your son is talking but I can't see him." Wow, what a fucking reply. You have just been told twice that your target is not interested and when I say something (not the Fuck off bitch that I wanted to) THAT is the best you can do?

She then persisted in engaging Mom about how great Bell-Aliant is. Mom told her about how she used Aliant's service years ago and switched because they didn't give her good service or good customer service. The woman ignored that and started asking how much Mom paid because their deal was so great.

At that point I decided enough was enough, it was time to step in. Mom had given the bitch enough notice that she wasn't interested. So, I said how much we are now paying which is $20 below what Bell was offering.

Once again the woman started going on about a voice but she can't see who is talking. So, I stepped into the door way to address her. "We aren't interested in changing. Your offer is $20 more than we are paying."

"Well, do you have DVR?" she replied.

"I looked her in the eye and said "I don't care about DVR. Hell, if it wasn't for my Mother I wouldn't have cable."

That is when she looked shocked and blurted "I am not trying to force you into anything?"

I smiled at her and said "Then why are you still here? Have a good day."

She stammered "Have a good day." and left.

THIS is why I don't give sales people 3 strikes. If they don't get it by strike two they can fuck off. Did she think she had a senior citizen she could push around? Or the son of one she could? I don't know. I don't care. She was told no twice. THAT should have been enough. Fuck off.

Bell-Aliant, FUCK OFF. Your rep just tried to pressure my Mother and pissed me off. It will be a cold day in hell before I ever look at you in a good light.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

What the ... trending BS?!?!?

I am not a Twitter subscriber. Which means I am not a Twit who Tweets. If I wanted to be a Twit I would subscribe.

Unfortunately Facebook forces me to see the Top 3 trending things, according to the Twits who work for Facebook. Which leads me to what has been on the Facebook Trending BS for at least 20+  hours ago. And it is STILL fucking there and still as wrong as it was when they FIRST posted it.

Ray Bourke is 53+ years old. He PLAYED for the Boston Bruins and the Colorado Avalanche. He has NEVER played for the Montreal Canadiens and was most definitely NOT playing last night. Nor did he score 2 goals to lead the Habs to the win. That was RENE Bourke. Something Facebook has STILL not fixed on their forced Trending list. Really Facebook. What the fuck?!?!?

At least the Red Wings info is spot on. One Direction ... who really gives a fuck.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

More Facebook Follies.

Ah Facebook. They always find a way to make you shake your head and say "What the fuck?!?!?" Or sometimes "Why the fuck?!?" If they aren't making changes that piss people off they find other ways to get our attention. Like the ads they have. Fuck knows they really don't care what kind of ad they have or how it is presented ... unless it gets pointed out in the media. Then they care all of a sudden and actually act.

I know I have pointed out the horrible English in some of their ads before but a recent ad on the right hand side of my screen had me chuckling.

Heh. Kiss her erogenous lips. I wonder which lips they are talking about.

Hmmm ... I think I will send them an email seeing if they want to hire a proof reader who actually knows how to use English. ;)

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Shit Morons Say ... about movies.

As a group of us were walking down an aisle Sarge said "I think I will go see Noah on the weekend."

MotorMouth chimed in "Yeah. Noah. I heard it was a good movie. I want to see it too."

I decided to be a smart ass and said "I don't want to see it. I read the book."

Everyone chuckled. Everyone expect Joan. She said "There is a book?!?!?"

Wide eyed I smirked and said "Yes. It is called the Bible."

She ALMOST saved herself but then stammered "I meant there is a book that it is based on?!?"

I shook my head and said "Yes. The Bible."

I walked away shaking my head. MotorMouth was taking the piss out of her for being stupid. It is a sad day for anyone when MotorMouth can legitimately take them down a peg for being an idiot.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Gord's Pork Pies Part 3

Wow. Talk about deluding yourself. Gord is NOT going with the April Fools defence. He is actually going to stick with the lie and continue feigning indignation when people call him on it.

He has no picture of him with the winning rim. Considering he goes no where without his cell phone and ipad that is strange. He is STILL telling different people he won it in different places. He is STILL telling people he upgraded it to the Corolla CE from the S. Which would actually be a down grade.

He IS claiming to have papers about his car in his locker. But he doesn't claim they prove he won it. He does like to dissemble.

He no longer reminds me of my brother Herman. He reminds me of my ex-fiance. She was pretty much a pathological liar. Why? The drama. She ALWAYS had something bad happening, whether real or made up. That way people would rally around her and tell her how good a person she was. Or defend her.

That pretty much seems to be what Gord is doing now. Those that care enough (or are bored enough) to call him on the lies get his indignation. He complains about it to others sometimes getting lip service, sometimes getting compassion, sometimes getting told to stop the lies. It is all about the attention and it doesn't matter if it is good or bad.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Shit Morons Say ... in dispatch.

I asked my boss if I could leave early today. We call that putting in for an EO, Early Out. He told me sure and then called our dispatcher to make sure it was on the schedule. Chuck was in dispatch.

Manager "You see where there is an EO? by Flint's name on the schedule at 2 and 2:30?"

Chuck "Yes."

Manager "Remove the ? from 2."

Chuck "What about 2:30?"

I had to bite my tongue not to start laughing. It would have been loud enough to hear over the phone. My manager just replied "Ummm. Yes." and hung up. We both started laughing.

Moe was in the hallway, poked his head in and said "What is so funny?"

We told him. He shook his head and said "What did he think? You would leave at 2 and come back at 2:30 to work a half hour?!?!?"


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Gord's Pork Pies Part 2

Saturday, Gord tells me he has something to show me when my shift is over. After his behaviour the previous Sunday I wasn't sure what to expect. A video I would find stupid? Ninja Biker Porn? No clue. He shows me a car in the parking lot and says "I won it from Roll Up The Rim!"

For those who don't know, every year Tim Horton's has the Roll Up The Rim to Win contest. The main prize being a car. This year there were several Toyota Corollas to go around.

Part of me winced knowing how Gord lies. Part of me said ignore the wincing and congratulate him. Part of me said does it really matter? So, I congratulated him on his good luck.

He went into great detail about how he found out he won it. A drive outside the city in his old car with his mother. They stopped at a Tim Horton's by the airport. Voila he won. They gave him a something to take to the Toyota dealer in town and get one. He traded his old car in to upgrade it to a Corolla CE.

He told a lot of people at work that he won it. A lot of people at work told him he was full of shit. Which is why he was in full indignant mode Sunday.

Because I had congratulated him I was one of the good guys. He waxed on about how could people think he lied about it. Yadda yadda yadda. (Because you had lied to them all in the past maybe?) Not really caring one way or the other I just said "What does it matter what they think or say if it is true?" And I left it at that not really wanting to get involved.

Why didn't I want to get involved? Because I was pretty sure that if I looked into it even a little it would all turn out to be a lie. And I really didn't care. It didn't hurt anyone and if it was a lie he was just fooling himself.

Today, Monday, his lie (yes, surprise surprise he was lying) started to unravel. He told me he won it in a small town called Enfield. He told one of my managers Truro. He told someone else Halifax. He told someone else Moncton. You get the idea right?

He was back in indignant mode. "What, do I have to show them the rim to make them believe me?" (Well, yeah. That would actually do it. Or even a picture of him with the winning rim. Getting whatever they gave him to get the car. Getting the car. Anything like that.)

I said "Well, they will find out when it is announced you won by Tim Horton's." He had an answer for that. He said he wouldn't let them release his name. Long story short he had lots of "reasons" why he couldn't prove it. BUT he DID have the car.

At this point he had hurt his case so much that he made it impossible to even ignore the fact he was lying. I figured I could prove he was lying in three easy steps.

On the way home I stopped by Tim Horton's for a coffee. I asked them about the person in Enfield who won a car last week. They said no one there won. What Halifax? Nope. Strike one.

After supper I went on the  computer and logged on to Tim Horton's website. They show a list of ALL winners of ALL prizes up to date. Surely if he won it last week and kept him name out of it there would be a "winner" from Enfield, or Halifax, of Truro, or Moncton? Yet there is NO winner from any of those areas. EVERY winner shown has their name and where listed on a map showing the area they won it in. Strike two.

Then I went to Toyota's website. According to Tim Horton's website the model people won was the Corolla S. Gord said he upgraded it to a CE. Unfortunately, for Gord, the CE is the BASIC model. The S is 2 levels up and about $4000 more expensive. So, he traded in his old car and downgraded? Strike three.

I expect a fourth strike when he is back at work Thursday. Odds are he will try to claim he was just prepping an april Fool's joke.

I can't even get angry with Gord for lying like this. It was so pathetically done that it makes me sad for him. It is just ... well ... pathetic.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Gord's Pork Pies Part 1

One of the guys at work, let's call him Gord, tells lies. A lot. Usually harmless or inconsequential. He reminds me of my brother Herman in a lot of ways.

Herman is older than me and likes to tell pork pies. He makes up some of the strangest lies at times. For reasons known only to him. Usually harmless ones. They both have a crude sense of humour, but my brother is a lot cruder.

A week and a half ago Gord told me something that I filed under BS. He said that a news report showed them (no idea who they are) finding the wing of an Air France jet in what is supposed to be the wreckage of the Malaysian Air jet.

Yeah, right. Nice try. No idea why.

Jump ahead a week. I am at work feeling like shit. Sinus and throat infection. Fighting through it and thankful I am off the next 3 days. I am not at work 10 minutes when Gord walks up and starts prattling on and irritating me.

First he started going on about how cough drops are addictive. Why that topic? I had just popped one for my sore throat. I shook my head and said "Really? No. They aren't"

He retorted with a "Yes they are."

"No Gord. They are no physically addictive."

"Well mentally."

"Yeah. No."

Then he struck a new tangent. "Studies show that the decongestant in cough drops affects your brain chemistry."

I sighed and relied "Gord, there is no decongestant in cough drops unless you get the ones with cough syrup in them. The ingredient that provides sinus relief is menthol."

He didn't like that and snarled. "Chocolate is addictive!"

"Jesus Gord, did you get all this info from the same place you heard about the Air France wing?" I laughed back.

He lost it. "You fucking asshole. You can go fuck yourself. I am fucking tired of people contradicting me and trying to make me look like a fucking liar. I am not a liar! I am going to find the article about the Air France wing so I can ram it down your fucking throat!"

What do you say to insanity like that? I leaned forward and in a soft voice said "And you have a nice day. Bye bye."

Then I walked over to the front entrance turning my back on him. You could hear him a couple of minutes later still slamming stuff around.

He avoided me for most of the day. Later he came up to me when I was in the office and in his mind I am sure he thinks he apologized.

He said. "I was wrong about the Air France wing. I went online and watched the news story again. They were talking about the Malaysian Air crash and the started showing stuff from other crashes. I put my head phones on just before they did that to tone out Marilyn. (Most people want to block her out because she is another head case who never shuts up.) She has been telling people for the last 3 weeks that all I do is lie. She is trying to get me fired."

So, it wasn't his fault he made an ass out of himself it is Marilyn's fault. I just shrugged and said "Whatever floats your boat." Which he took as "all is forgiven".

I could have called my boss over and got him in a lot of shit. I could have went to HR the next day I was in when they were and got him in a lot of shit. He may even have lost his job. But, he didn't do it in front of customers and I felt sorry for him. He doesn't have many (any?) friends at home or work. What he said didn't really matter to me, so I let it slide.

Which just led to more lying insanity this past weekend.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Shit Morons Say ... about diabetes.

"I am (insert verb here)  with diabetes!"

There is a blood reader called Contour Next by Bayers. This commercial makes me see red. It starts off by showing people making statements about living with diabetes.

"I am working with diabetes." says a man at a work site.

"I am travelling with diabetes." says a woman in a lounge chair by a pool.

"I am creating with diabetes." says a woman at a draft table.

No shit Sherlock. having diabetes doesn't mean you can't do anything as long as you keep things under control. Yes, ANY blood reader, like the contour, will help you. Your meds will help you even more. However, this commercial makes it seem like diabetes makes you unable to do anything UNLESS you use the contour.

One of the reasons why a LOT of people don't mention they have diabetes is because of how people react. Oh, you have diabetes you shouldn't be doing this. As long as you keep your blood sugar level under control you can pretty much do anything you want.

Why does this commercial piss me off? I have diabetes. Shit like this makes the sheep, errr average person think someone with diabetes is severely limited in what they can do.

This commercial reminds me of an asshole I worked with at my current job for a short while. He tried to use diabetes to excuse the fact he is a lazy fucktard. He actually got a doctors note saying he needed more breaks than normal because of his condition. What would he do on these extra breaks? Scarf down teh kind of food that would make a diabetic have severe problems. (If anything the mook was hypo-glycemic and not diabetic but he got some fucktard of a doctor to sign off on him being diabetic.)

Up until then I told no one at work I was diabetic. Why? Because it didn't prevent me from doing my job. It has been under control for years. It is no ones business. He pissed me off so much I told my bosses, and a few others. And in case you didn't get it, he doesn't work there any more. He got caught in a few too many lies.

Bayer you are fucktards for putting out this commercial. The Contour Next makes it easier to monitor and track your blood sugar levels. THAT is what you should have focused on. Fucktards.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

What the ... national news?!?!?

A "cautious" Calgary doctor also know as a daredevil that lived for adrenaline rushes died base jumping in Arizona. Why the fuck should I care? Why the fuck is it NATIONAL news?!?!?

Not to denigrate or diminish how his family and friends feel but why the hell would this be considered national news? CTV, CBC, The National Post, even METRO for the Halifax area is carrying this story.

To add to the inanity of the story you have this report:

‘‘A rescue helicopter … located Dave’s body and confirmed he had died from massive injuries resulting from impacting rocks at high speed. "

They REALLY had to elaborate on that? They needed confirmation that he died from massive injuries due to hitting rocks and a high speed? Were they thinking maybe his death resulted because of being hit by a car in mid air? Media fucktards.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Fun With Telemarketers 1

I had a call from 1-604-251-1333 a few minutes ago. The message that played said that they were calling about my credit card. Everything is ok with it BUT this is my second and final warning that they can help me with the interest rates. They won't be offering their help much longer.

It is interesting that every time these ass hats call it is always the second and final warning. :) They have called a couple of times in the past and we always hang up on them. Today, I was bored and decided to have some fun with them. :)

You are told to press 1 for an operator or 2 to be removed from their list. Pressing 2 never works of course. I pressed one and was almost immediately greeted by an East-Indian sounding gentleman.

He started off with a "Good day to you sir. I will be able to help you lower your interest rates." (It helps if you imagine Apu from the Simpsons as the voice of the caller.)

I replied "Good. What bank are you with?"

"Sir, I work for a company that can lower your credit card interest rates. Your current rate can be lowered by 10%."

I cut him off and said "You aren't with a bank? How do you know my interest rate?"

"My company can help you lower your rate."

"Wait a minute. The message that played said you KNEW my credit card information and that everything is ok with my card. If you don't work for my bank how can you know that?"

"Sir we help people lower ..."

I cut him off again "I asked how you know anything about my credit card. My next call may have to be to the police."

"Sir, if we can ..."

"I have a question for you."

"What is your question sir?"

"How many times a day do you get told to go fuck yourself?"

He hung up on me. :)

I actually find myself hoping another telemarketer or scammer calls.