Saturday, May 31, 2014

It's official ... I'm a twit.

Ok, it is official. I am now a twit or is it a twat? I joined twitter to enter a contest to win P.K. Subban's game winning puck from a game versus Boston in the playoffs this year.

Since joining it and spamming that account with tweets (3) to better my chance to win I never logged back on. Until this morning. I have to say Twitter is pretty much everything I expected it to be. And taht isn't a good thing. ;)

As soon as I opened ythe program the fucktardery started. Ads and useless retweets. HockeyNightInCanada if I had wanted to see an ad for GreztkyHockeySchool I would have gone looking for it. I don't need to have it retweeted so I can see it.

CBC seems to retweet a lot of idiotic things. Dallas Eakins tweeted that he "Absolutely loves Mr. Cole" and CBC felt that piece of important news had to be retweeted. The world as we know it would end if CBC didn't let you know about Dallas Eakins love for Mr. Cole (A CBC hockey commentator.) Fucktards.

Then you have retweeting stuff from WaltDisneyStudiosCAN. I don't know what going to see Malificent has to do with football nor do I know why FIFA needs to retweet asking if I am going to see it.  As with the other sports related accounts I followed I did it to hear ABOUT THE SPORTS and not this idiocy of retweeted bullshit. Fucktards.

Then there are the ads that Twitter decides I need to see like Windows Canada. Or an add, not a retweet, for GretzkyHockeySchool.

You know, I have never claimed to have much of a life but I have enough of one that I don't need shit like Twitter to get through a day. To get reaffirmation that what I posted and said is good. To try and get things retweeted as much as I can ... will retweet yours if you retweet mine.

It reminds me of some of the stupider aspects of YouTube. People you don't know, and odds are would never care to know, messaging you saying nothing but "sub4sub". That is, if you subscribe to them they will subscribe to you. Even if you never look at their site again, or don't believe in anything they expound, sub4sub man. That way they can have as many subscribers as possible and somehow it will make them look important to the world. Kind of like the people on Facebook who collect friends so they can point to a list of hundreds or thousands of friends. Most of which they don't really know.

Pathetic and epic fucktardery.

I will pare the twitter list down to just a few to follow and give it a second chance. Then I will delete it next time I log on. Oops, sorry, seeing into the future. What can I say ... I am pretty sure that won't improve Twitter  for me.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Day of the Fucktards.

Holy shit. I have run in to more fucktards today, some almost literally, than I do most weeks.

Leaving the common daily fucktards aside there are 2 that stand out for their high degree of fucktardery.

The first one I encountered on my way back from the morning walk in the park with my dog. As I pulled onto my street and started to round a corner I ran into difficulty. The first difficulty being because someone had parked their van on the corner so I couldn't see much ahead and had to slowly/blindly go around. The second reason being that some stupid fucking jogger was ON THE ROAD coming around said van. This stupid twat was jogging down the road on the same fucking side as an EMPTY SIDEWALK. God forbid the fucktard actually be using the sidewalk.

Luckliy for her I was going slow because of the circumstances. If I had been doing the speed limit I would have nailed her and not in that fun way. My windows were down so I voiced my displeasure with her. "You fucking moron. Why the fuck aren't you using the sidewalk? I could have fucking killed you!" The fucktard kept her head down and kept jogging towards the car behind me who laid on their horn and scared the shit out of her. :)

The second one I ran into, once again almost literally, after the second walk in the park. I had stopped at the mall on the way home. On my way out the car in front of my stopped for the stop sign (no that isn't why they are a fucktard) realized they should have gone right instead of left to the stop and started backing up. They never checked their mirror and just started backing up right at me.

I laid on the horn and the driver gave me a really dirty look and (thankfully) hit their brakes. I shouted out my window "What the fuck do you think you doing? Try checking before backing up!" They did a sort of U-turn through a 4-way stop so they could back track to the liqour store.


Thursday, May 8, 2014

Shit Morons Say ... when mistaken.

"Isn't this where I get my tires changed?"

I was waiting to get my hair cut yesterday when a woman carrying a kid walked into the barber shop. she looked around and said "Isn't this where I get my tires changed?"

The barber never missed a beat. He shook his head and said "No. They are around the other side of the building. This is a barber shop."

"Oh. I guess I should go." was her reply.

The barber chuckled and said "If you need a haircut you can stay."

She left. We started laughing.

Another customer who was waiting said "That happen a lot?"

The barber said "A few times a week. You would never know there is a sign over the entrance saying this is a barber shop. Plus one on the door. Plus the sign for the tire shop telling you where it's entrance is."

The guy in the chair said "Ever mess with their heads?"

The barber said "I don't really have to. Hell, once a guy came in, saw me cutting hair and said 'Here are my  keys.' as if I was standing behind  desk and not cutting hair."

Damn. People can be stupid.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

How stupid do you think I am?

One of my sisters, lets call her DB, has been on my shit list for a while. Actually, she isn't on that list or any other. I just don't bother with her. Don't usually think about her.

Our Mother had major surgery a couple of years ago. She was in the hospital about 5 days then home to recover. It was about a month and a half before this sister came to visit her. A week before Christmas. To get and drop off presents. In the years since then I can count the number of times she has visited Mom on ONE hand. Visited, not actually done anything for.

Why, you might ask? She has excuses. Too busy week days. Too busy weekends. The week days, fine, she babysits a load of kids. But she does manage to take a week off several times a year to go shopping in the states. Just has no time to visit her Mother.

A few days ago I got a Facebook message from her. She told me that she had messaged Mom. She had to have her dog put down. It had been suffering from a disease for years and had developed kidney/liver problems as well. For that she got my condolences. Then she went on to say that NOW that she doesn't have to stay home with the dog all the time she will be able to visit Mom.

Wow. She blamed her absence in Mom's life on the dog. Claiming she couldn't leave the dog alone. I don't know how fucking stupid she thinks I am but I do know that she would go to the US shopping several times a year. Usually for a week. She Facebooks about it every time she goes.

But she couldn't leave the dog alone for a few hours to visit her Mother. She only lives about a 15-20 minute drive away. US, no problem for a week. Mom for an hour or so, too hard. Fuck me.

The DB stands for Douchebag.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Shit Morons Say ... when pushing a product.

"I am not trying to force you into anything."

Mom was getting home from the food bank as I was getting the dog ready for a walk. I noticed a woman two houses away going door to door. Yeah, I knew it wasn't a JoHo or some other Christer. I was pretty sure it was someone selling something. Mom could deal with them. If I did it wouldn't be pleasant.

The woman who came to the door was peddling service with Bell-Aliant. She had a list of non-Bell-Aliant customers on my street and that was her target audience.

The woman was nice enough. BUT. She was peddling something. Over the years I have developed a keen lack of tolerance for people peddling something who don't listen when I say no. I will say no once, even twice. The third time I have to say no I am not usually pleasant. But I am skipping ahead.

The woman was pleasant enough with Mom. I was inside, where I couldn't be seen, getting the dog ready. Mom was at the door way. Mom asked her what she wanted. The woman said she was with Bell-Aliant. Mom immediately said "I am not interested in changing my service." That was a good negative answer.

A peddlar should have picked up on it and either called it a day and move don or, as most are trained, try to get convince the person to change. The peddlar went for the latter, as most would. (Did I mention I used to peddle a product and learned at least some of the signs that told you when to move on? Most peddlars don't move on until at least the second sign is seen. Aggressive ones who love the hard sell will continue after the second sign, or third, or ... ok I am jumping ahead again.)

The woman started shilling her product again. Mom quickly said "I am happy with Eastlink's service and am not interested in changing." The woman started talking comparison.

At that point I said "Eastlink is a good service."

The woman replied "Oh your son is talking but I can't see him." Wow, what a fucking reply. You have just been told twice that your target is not interested and when I say something (not the Fuck off bitch that I wanted to) THAT is the best you can do?

She then persisted in engaging Mom about how great Bell-Aliant is. Mom told her about how she used Aliant's service years ago and switched because they didn't give her good service or good customer service. The woman ignored that and started asking how much Mom paid because their deal was so great.

At that point I decided enough was enough, it was time to step in. Mom had given the bitch enough notice that she wasn't interested. So, I said how much we are now paying which is $20 below what Bell was offering.

Once again the woman started going on about a voice but she can't see who is talking. So, I stepped into the door way to address her. "We aren't interested in changing. Your offer is $20 more than we are paying."

"Well, do you have DVR?" she replied.

"I looked her in the eye and said "I don't care about DVR. Hell, if it wasn't for my Mother I wouldn't have cable."

That is when she looked shocked and blurted "I am not trying to force you into anything?"

I smiled at her and said "Then why are you still here? Have a good day."

She stammered "Have a good day." and left.

THIS is why I don't give sales people 3 strikes. If they don't get it by strike two they can fuck off. Did she think she had a senior citizen she could push around? Or the son of one she could? I don't know. I don't care. She was told no twice. THAT should have been enough. Fuck off.

Bell-Aliant, FUCK OFF. Your rep just tried to pressure my Mother and pissed me off. It will be a cold day in hell before I ever look at you in a good light.